Oct. 1st 2013

Sept 30 2013

Before hair appointment

After Hair Appointment Oct. 1 2013

Well Hello There..

It's less than a month now and we will be heading off to Mexico on our second cruise together. And only a few weeks away before my oldest niece gets married. Both events I had pictured in my mind as much skinnier than I am today. I was sure when we booked this cruise so many months ago that I'd be showing off my bikini  bod and looking fab in the photos from our trip. Yeah..well not so much and I seriously doubt you'll be seeing any swimsuit pictures anytime soon.

I am past the horrified stage when I see myself in pictures but not quite to the "Wow, who is that smoking girl!?"  I do think I'll get there one of these days thou.

This morning we did our routine of watching the morning news shows, answering leads, checking emails, catching up on flower shop on facebook (ok that is just me..Vic ins't into the online games) ...and then Vic says "I'm going to finish these up and then go to the gym, want to come with me?" my brain screams NOOOO but then that little devil that is never far away named guilt starts punching me in the throat. I should go, we should go often. We should ride our new bikes that sit in  the guest room closet so they don't get rusty outside. We should use our treadmill for something other than a clothes pile holder, we should, we should...I should not make lemon cake , or buy candy, or do any of the other number of bad things I've been doing. The scale not moving in the right direction is totally my doing.

I will do better. one day. Here is a no make up, current good morning to you picture :)

and another from a recent trip to Hobby Lobby (my happy place)

September 1 2013

I've had this blog up and running a year this month (Sept 30 2012 blog)

I was getting ready to go in for my lap band surgery the following month. I was super excited to lose the weight and be back to my skinny self. Thinking I would never have a "fat holiday" again, no more worries about pictures being taken of me.  

Well, I have lost some weight (nearly 40 lbs) but have not lost any more since Feb. , that is 7 months of sitting at the same place on the scale. It's my fault, I don't eat right, I don't exercise like I should. I'm  not disgusted at my pictures any more (for the most part) but I'm also not where I wanted to be  a year later. I wanted to be down 100 lbs.  I still think I'll get there, it is just going to take a lot more than I'm giving now.

With the 40 pounds down I can now sit Indian style (my legs crossed) , I don't worry about seat belts not fitting on plane trips, roller coasters, etc. I don't worry that my beach chair will break under my weight.
I feel "noticed" again and not invisible. I don't feel the need to run to the scale every day worrying that the weight will all just appear back. I can shop in regular stores again  and sometimes even find things that fit ..and not just in the big women s section.

I have not been recording in this blog or doing the videos that I started with..I think about them but don't seem to find the time or motivation to do them. Not sure anyone really reads this or cares anyway. It's mainly for me , another journal of sorts to record what I've done, what I'm doing and what I am telling myself to do in the future :)

Date Night!

Guess What Day It Is

Happy Hump Day!

Video Flash Back, July 2012

Dress Up Week

I mentioned last week that I had good luck shopping at ROSS, here are some of the dresses that I got! I loved dressing up all week.

4th Of July, Projects, Shopping

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!

It was very different for me this year. We had rain in the forecast so Vic and I decided to head to the mall to make a Build-A-Bear with some of my dads ashes. See the full blog on that at my other blog :http://www.whathollyhasseen.blogspot.com/2013/07/4th-of-july.html

We did make it over to the beach to catch the fireworks thou and it stopped raining just in time for the show! Perfect night with Vic and Victor. It was a little sad for me, thinking about my dad and missing him saying his Ohhhh and Aaaaas at the fireworks.

Today I woke up with a goal of going shopping and finding a dress to wear to dinner tonight. We are going out with some good friends and nothing is fitting right or looking good on me. I usually hate going to ROSS because it's messy and drives me crazy but today I totally scored! I came home with shoes, 8 dresses, a pair of shorts and even a shirt for Vic! All for under $135.   To make it even sweeter I was able to fit in a size 16! (down from a 20) and went ahead and bought two dresses that will fit later when I lose a little more weight. Shopping is always so hard for me because I'm only 5' and the lengths are always too long so when I found those two that will look perfect once I drop a few more pounds I knew to just grab them!

Tomorrow we hope to make it a beach day..it's suppose to rain but we can maybe work around that if it isn't an all day thing.

Life is good.