It's a Struggle

Today is 7 months, 6 days since I had the lap band surgery. And almost a year now since I started looking into having it done. When I started I weighted 234 pounds, today I weight 196 making that 38 pounds lost. I  was pretty happy three months ago when I hit 197 but then my dad died and my motivation and eating habits went to hell. I snacked on candy and junk food again after being so good for months . I gave myself a break at first and figured it would run its course and work out and blamed it on stress. Truth be told I am sure it was/is emotional eating.

I went in for my regular check up with the doctor last Thursday. I didn't want another fill because I already could not eat very much but more than I should be able to eat according to what I learned in my classes prior to surgery. He wasn't very sympathetic and told me that I need to do what I was taught..three bites. Chicken, meat, fish..that's it. No salads, no slider foods. He gave me another fill making it 6cc's now in my band. (I think my band will hold 10 ccs)

This has been a trying 5 days! I can finally really only eat three bites! Even my protein shake makes me feel crappy and too full. If I eat that fourth bite I am off to the bathroom to throw it up (TMI..sorry). Good news is Ive lost another pound since my doctor visit Thursday. Bad news is not being able to eat makes me very cranky! I have a feeling seeing the scale go down more will make me get over the crankiness ...we shall see.

I worry a little about dehydration and not getting enough nutrients ..I mean how could I possibly with three bites of protein and a protein shake a day? It explains the weight loss but how healthy is this?? I am taking my vitamins and my hair isn't falling out as much as before..at least not that I notice as much. I am having little bits of feelings of wondering if this was the right decision for me. In my logical brain I think it was. I was way over weight and nothing was working. I was very unhealthy and my quality of life was being effected in ways I didn't even realize until I started losing the weight. I think once I get past this bump in the road I will again think that I made the right decision but on days like this when I can't  eat, can't even imagine going out to eat ever again without worrying about embarrassing myself it's a hard call.  I'm giving myself a few more days and if I'm still struggling as much I think I will go back and have him take back out 1cc of fluid from my band. Maybe this was the wake up call I needed to get back on track?