Monday, December 23, 2013

12/23/13

Happy Day Before Christmas Eve!

I am getting ready to go to work but I'll try and add to this later today...maybe even a video if I can get my webcam to work with me instead of against me! :)


love, peace and happiness

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ho Ho Ho

Happy Holidays!

I have not been posting much. I've gained back 10 lbs over the past several months and it isn't much fun posting about that. My clothes are starting to feel snug again. I refuse to buy bigger things. I have gotten rid of my old "fat" clothes.

I have a party on NYE that I really hoped to wear an old dress from many years ago..much smaller size than I've been in for years but I had hoped.

I'm way out of control with my sweets. I know this.
I need to exercise..I know this too.

With all of that being said I don't see where blogging about it helps anyone..it isn't fun to read and it just pisses me off to write ...not the way I want to be.

More later..:)

Must go eat a gingerbread man...

Saturday, November 9, 2013

11/9/2013 Road Trip

Heading out on a road trip today! So excited...We are going to Cassadaga Fl and then to Mt. Dora.
I will blog about it later and share our travels.
I'm hoping to connect with a medium and hear from my dad. I am bringing Hersch! (the bear that holds my dad's ashes)

It is a short planned somewhat spur of the moment trip .Happy Saturday!!! Time to end this year with some HAPPY memories.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Back to the real world

We got back from our cruise on Saturday. I am still having a little trouble with my sea legs..dizzy. I hope that goes away soon.
The trip was fabulous! The best vacation I've ever taken. It would be hard to pick just one thing but my top five are
1. Swimming with the stingrays
2. Snorkeling in Cozumel
3.catching some amazing sunsets
4. winnning on the slot machines
5. spending it with my best friend and partner

I didn't have much luck with the food. We went to the formal dinner in the dining room once.  It was lobster and shrimp. Something that I can usually eat just fine but not this time. I had to leave the table several times. We didn't try again after that. I was good with breakfast (bacon and eggs) very small portions. I brought my protein shakes so every morning I had that and stuck with water throughout the day. I got on the scale today and I was at 201, so I'm still down and not gaining anything back :)

My surgery was a year ago last week. I started at 235. I'm not happy looking at pictures how fat I still look but I'm not as unhappy about it as I used to be. I"m glad that I've lost some in my face. I don't feel "fat" anymore..until I look at pictures :)

On to another day and another challenge.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Vacation! 10/14/2013

Good Morning!
Today we leave on a cruise to Mexico! It is my second cruise with Vic, my first cruise with the lap band. I am a little nervous about how the dining will go but I'm sure it will be a wonderful vacation.

We are going to be gone longer this time than the last one, it's a five day cruise with stops in Grand Cayman and Cozumel. We've planned an excursion of swimming with the stingrays. I am less nervous leaving this time knowing Victor will be  here taking care of the furchildren (Last time the littles went to Camp Bow Wow and my sister and friend Emma Lisa looked after the bigs) It will also give us more peace of mind knowing Victor is around to take care of business.

We planned this cruise last December I think, so it's been a long time coming. It's given us a chance to save and plan on everything we want to do also. We turned in our old gold this week that has been laying around forever and came away with a nice little  hunk of "fun" money to spend.  I rolled all of our change and turned it in  too and that should pay for the excursion. It's always nice to get away when you don't have to worry about every dime you spend :)

I hope to take lots of pictures and some videos  , enjoy all of the shows/entertainment on board, have some fun in the casino and just relax. This will be my first cruise that I will have a balcony suite. I am so excited!!! I slept more than Vic did last night but I was up and awake by 6 this morning! We are leaving  early afternoon for Tampa, I think we can get on board around 1pm. I'll try and write more if I can later.

Maybe by the time we return the government will be back up and running. Today marks the 14th day since they shut down I believe.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Oct. 4 2013

I am getting ready to meet my step mother for lunch with Vic and Victor today. We also have the wedding rehearsal this afternoon.
I'm trying to do a short blog a day, even if it's just a photo. I know it will be hard when we are on our cruise but I can do them to post once we get back since I doubt we'll have internet in Mexico.

Lunch was great..we went to Chilis. I had loaded baked potato soup. No problems. :)
The rehearsal was great, I know tomorrow will be perfect.
It's getting late, I'd better get myself in bed so I'm all fresh and ready for the big day tomorrow. I can't wait to see my  niece walk down the isle. :) Life is good. We are so blessed.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

October 3rd 2013

Happy October 3rd.

Today we are picking up my step mother at the airport. She is flying in for my nieces wedding this weekend.  October is going to be a crazy busy month for us with our birthdays (Vic, Me, DJ, Dakota and Dexter), the wedding, our cruise to Mexico!
We took Hersch (I have my dads ashes in a bear named Hersch) to the airport with us to get Cyndi!



A unexpected surprise for me was finally getting back down to 200 lbs. When I left my dads house after he died the scale was at the lowest since my surgery at 196, for most of the past 8 months it has been 202-204 but this week I've seen it going down instead of up or staying the same! I am not doing anything differently but maybe it's just working itself out finally. I am not exercising like I should. I do still stay away from bread and am only able to eat a few bites of most meats (Chicken, Steak, etc.) but I have continued my bad habits of sweets and know that if I ever want to get to goal I will have to cut those out on a much bigger scale that I have been.

I am not sure I was the most realistic a year ago when I had my surgery. I would have thought that by now I would be 135 lbs or less. I thought I'd be a super star keeing up with my blogs and videos when in reality I have not done a video in forever and this blog is forgotten by me much of the time unless I see a jump down on the scale. I guess it's normal only wanting to report on the good things. For me it is anyway. Part of those rose colored glasses I suppose.  All I can say is I will try and do better :)

Have a wonderful October day!

Later: We picked up Cyndi and then had a light lunch at Daiquiri Deck in Venice. I had a chicken, veg. soup and a sweet tea..worked perfectly for me. We had a chance to visit a little bit and then Vic and I went home.  I made a pot of Chili for dinner and it was fantastic! I was able to eat almost two bowls!! More than I should but it was just yummy! The scale showed it thou, by bed time my 200 lbs had turned to 203! Yikes.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Oct. 2 2013

OCT 2 2013 Weight 201

OCT 2 2012 Weight 223
Oct. 2011 Unknown weight

Oct. 2010


Oct. 1st 2013

Sept 30 2013

Before hair appointment

After Hair Appointment Oct. 1 2013

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Well Hello There..

It's less than a month now and we will be heading off to Mexico on our second cruise together. And only a few weeks away before my oldest niece gets married. Both events I had pictured in my mind as much skinnier than I am today. I was sure when we booked this cruise so many months ago that I'd be showing off my bikini  bod and looking fab in the photos from our trip. Yeah..well not so much and I seriously doubt you'll be seeing any swimsuit pictures anytime soon.



I am past the horrified stage when I see myself in pictures but not quite to the "Wow, who is that smoking girl!?"  I do think I'll get there one of these days thou.

This morning we did our routine of watching the morning news shows, answering leads, checking emails, catching up on flower shop on facebook (ok that is just me..Vic ins't into the online games) ...and then Vic says "I'm going to finish these up and then go to the gym, want to come with me?" my brain screams NOOOO but then that little devil that is never far away named guilt starts punching me in the throat. I should go, we should go often. We should ride our new bikes that sit in  the guest room closet so they don't get rusty outside. We should use our treadmill for something other than a clothes pile holder, we should, we should...I should not make lemon cake , or buy candy, or do any of the other number of bad things I've been doing. The scale not moving in the right direction is totally my doing.

I will do better. one day. Here is a no make up, current good morning to you picture :)

and another from a recent trip to Hobby Lobby (my happy place)








Sunday, September 1, 2013

September 1 2013


I've had this blog up and running a year this month (Sept 30 2012 blog)

I was getting ready to go in for my lap band surgery the following month. I was super excited to lose the weight and be back to my skinny self. Thinking I would never have a "fat holiday" again, no more worries about pictures being taken of me.  

Well, I have lost some weight (nearly 40 lbs) but have not lost any more since Feb. , that is 7 months of sitting at the same place on the scale. It's my fault, I don't eat right, I don't exercise like I should. I'm  not disgusted at my pictures any more (for the most part) but I'm also not where I wanted to be  a year later. I wanted to be down 100 lbs.  I still think I'll get there, it is just going to take a lot more than I'm giving now.

With the 40 pounds down I can now sit Indian style (my legs crossed) , I don't worry about seat belts not fitting on plane trips, roller coasters, etc. I don't worry that my beach chair will break under my weight.
I feel "noticed" again and not invisible. I don't feel the need to run to the scale every day worrying that the weight will all just appear back. I can shop in regular stores again  and sometimes even find things that fit ..and not just in the big women s section.

I have not been recording in this blog or doing the videos that I started with..I think about them but don't seem to find the time or motivation to do them. Not sure anyone really reads this or cares anyway. It's mainly for me , another journal of sorts to record what I've done, what I'm doing and what I am telling myself to do in the future :)

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Dress Up Week

I mentioned last week that I had good luck shopping at ROSS, here are some of the dresses that I got! I loved dressing up all week.




Friday, July 5, 2013

4th Of July, Projects, Shopping

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July!

It was very different for me this year. We had rain in the forecast so Vic and I decided to head to the mall to make a Build-A-Bear with some of my dads ashes. See the full blog on that at my other blog :http://www.whathollyhasseen.blogspot.com/2013/07/4th-of-july.html

We did make it over to the beach to catch the fireworks thou and it stopped raining just in time for the show! Perfect night with Vic and Victor. It was a little sad for me, thinking about my dad and missing him saying his Ohhhh and Aaaaas at the fireworks.

Today I woke up with a goal of going shopping and finding a dress to wear to dinner tonight. We are going out with some good friends and nothing is fitting right or looking good on me. I usually hate going to ROSS because it's messy and drives me crazy but today I totally scored! I came home with shoes, 8 dresses, a pair of shorts and even a shirt for Vic! All for under $135.   To make it even sweeter I was able to fit in a size 16! (down from a 20) and went ahead and bought two dresses that will fit later when I lose a little more weight. Shopping is always so hard for me because I'm only 5' and the lengths are always too long so when I found those two that will look perfect once I drop a few more pounds I knew to just grab them!

Tomorrow we hope to make it a beach day..it's suppose to rain but we can maybe work around that if it isn't an all day thing.

Life is good.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

June 24 2013

Hello!

I'm getting ready to go to my nieces bridal shower. It's been a pretty good week. I've tried some new foods..kept some down. Tried my favorite quiche again and it just didn't work for me..I think I'm one of those people that just can't eat eggs with my lap band :(
It sucks because eggs are so rich in protein.

I'm still not seeing much movement in the scale. We joined the gym I think three weeks ago now. We don't go every day but every few days. I have made it 20 min. on the bike. I am trying for 30. I work up a sweat and feel it the next day so I think I'm doing it right ha!

I still have not broken the bad habit I picked up at my dads in February of eating candy again. It goes down so good!! I have tried only  picking up weight watchers candy or skinny cow but some how M&M's jump in my  cart too. This will power thing is the pits for me. I'm  not too concerned about it..my attitude has stayed pretty steady from the beginning about not beating myself up and taking it a day at a time. I do stress about the doctor visits thou. I know he'll not be happy when I go back in July and the scale is the same..ugh!

We are going to St Pete Pride tomorrow..maybe I'll sweat off some pounds :)

Have a great week!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

What a difference a year makes

I was just looking at my other blog (WhatHollyHasSeen) and realized that it has been one year this month since I first looked into getting the lap band surgery.

It took me four months from the time I looked into it first until I was able to complete the classes and doctor visits to actually have the surgery.

I am now 8 months out from having the surgery and down almost 40 pounds. I should be down more but I've been struggling since February when my dad died. I think I am back on track and have joined a gym this month so I should start losing again..in a positive way of thinking at least I have not gained any weight back! :)

It is definitely a commitment you must make, if I don't do the work I won't lose the weight. I can no longer enjoy a pizza, a hamburger, soft pretzels..bread. But I do enjoy looking in the mirror and seeing less of me. Being noticed again and not feeling invisible ...:) and the best is knowing it's only going to get better!

Happy June! I'll try and do a video later , it's been too long and I need to catch up with all of you on youtube that I've been watching your journeys..you are all an inspiration to me!


Saturday, June 8, 2013

Joined YouFit

Today we joined a gym. We didn't actually work out yet, but we did join. We will go again tomorrow and actually work out..this stuff takes time ya know :)


Sunday, June 2, 2013

Happy June!

After my last post I went back to the doctor and he took out 1 cc in my band-making it now at 5 cc's. I have been able to eat again -not an entire steak or anything but I can get 3-4 bites before feeling stuck.

I'm still working on drinking more water, eating less junk/slider foods and going for protein first. It's hard, I know I've slipped back into some old/bad habits  and only I can change    and get back on track.

This is Vic's last week of Physical Therapy so we'll be joining a gym soon and getting back to a more normal schedule hopefully. I know that I could go do that on my own but I think I'll go more with her and having someone to go with is more fun!

It's about this time last year that I started thinking about getting the lap band surgery. I remember going to a family 4th of July party saying it would be my last "fat" holiday. How silly I was to think it would all just fall off after surgery. Even after all the classes and everything I still thought it would be easier than it has been and didn't account for all the work I'd have to do along the way to get the numbers that I want.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

It's a Struggle

Today is 7 months, 6 days since I had the lap band surgery. And almost a year now since I started looking into having it done. When I started I weighted 234 pounds, today I weight 196 making that 38 pounds lost. I  was pretty happy three months ago when I hit 197 but then my dad died and my motivation and eating habits went to hell. I snacked on candy and junk food again after being so good for months . I gave myself a break at first and figured it would run its course and work out and blamed it on stress. Truth be told I am sure it was/is emotional eating.

I went in for my regular check up with the doctor last Thursday. I didn't want another fill because I already could not eat very much but more than I should be able to eat according to what I learned in my classes prior to surgery. He wasn't very sympathetic and told me that I need to do what I was taught..three bites. Chicken, meat, fish..that's it. No salads, no slider foods. He gave me another fill making it 6cc's now in my band. (I think my band will hold 10 ccs)

This has been a trying 5 days! I can finally really only eat three bites! Even my protein shake makes me feel crappy and too full. If I eat that fourth bite I am off to the bathroom to throw it up (TMI..sorry). Good news is Ive lost another pound since my doctor visit Thursday. Bad news is not being able to eat makes me very cranky! I have a feeling seeing the scale go down more will make me get over the crankiness ...we shall see.

I worry a little about dehydration and not getting enough nutrients ..I mean how could I possibly with three bites of protein and a protein shake a day? It explains the weight loss but how healthy is this?? I am taking my vitamins and my hair isn't falling out as much as before..at least not that I notice as much. I am having little bits of feelings of wondering if this was the right decision for me. In my logical brain I think it was. I was way over weight and nothing was working. I was very unhealthy and my quality of life was being effected in ways I didn't even realize until I started losing the weight. I think once I get past this bump in the road I will again think that I made the right decision but on days like this when I can't  eat, can't even imagine going out to eat ever again without worrying about embarrassing myself it's a hard call.  I'm giving myself a few more days and if I'm still struggling as much I think I will go back and have him take back out 1cc of fluid from my band. Maybe this was the wake up call I needed to get back on track?

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Time flies

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted on here. So much for my daily /weekly updates. I just have been in a creative funk since my dad passed in February.  The scale has stayed pretty much the same at 197/198/199.  I am pleased that it has not jumped back up into the 2's but really disappointed that it's not continued to go lower, but the only one to blame is me. I still have not exercised but am getting closer..the YouFit gym down the street from me is open now and I think after Vic is recovered more from knee surgery we will be joining.

 I've discovered that my lap band reacts to stress. For the most part I have not been able to keep most foods down. Occasionally I do but not as often as I'd like. I know that I eat too fast and take bigger bites than I should and that is something I just always have to work on. I'm not just talking about foods that shouldn't work..I was making Vic a sandwich yesterday and munched on Swiss cheese and a piece of ham and it got stuck. My problem is that a lot of bad foods (candy, ice cream, etc.) always go down just fine so when I have a bad episode with good foods I follow up with bad to fulfil that eating sensation. I have learned for the most part to only buy skinny cow candy and other more diet friendly sweets (sugar free, etc.)

Foods that work for me (most) of the time..meatballs,soup,chicken nuggets,chicken Caesar salad, chef salad, cheese, protein bars,chicken but not fried chicken, very thin pizza-I order the ones with the most meat and only eat a piece or two..if it's not thin it doesn't work, sometimes tacos work but sometimes they don't, chili,buffalo chicken wraps but I usually have to get rid of most of the "wrap" and just eat the chicken. I'm always trying new things but going out to a restaurant is not much fun for me anymore because I never know what my reaction to food is going to be.

Easter Sunday was awful. I went to a place that I usually love with Vic and Victor and ordered quiche but they didn't have my regular one so I got one with meat and peppers (too spicy) and I was only able to get one or two bites and I was running off to the bathroom to get sick. :(   I find it much easier to just bring food home or go to the same places that I know have things that work for me over and over.

It's been six months and a few weeks since I've been banded and I would not change it. I tried dieting on my own and never had the success that lasted like this band does. I know that I will keep losing weight and I know that once I add exercise I will do fantastic! For now I'm happy with the 37 lbs lost and enjoy looking in the mirror again.

I have a feeling May is going to be the month that turns this year around. No more sadness ..moving up and moving on to a thinner, healthier me!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

3/27/13



Hello! I am 5 months and 1 week out from having the lap band surgery. I started at 234 pounds and today when I got on the scale it was 199.6! :)  I've been stuck there for the past month but I have also not been sticking to the right foods (damn girl scout cookies!) and Easter candy!  

I finally went and bought new clothes this week. My old pants (stretch material , mostly sweat type pants) were looking pretty bad and droopy. I am between sizes (16-18) but bought 18's because the 16s were not comfortable and looked too tight. I don't think it will be long thou before I'm in them and the 18s will look too big. I can pull up the 18s without unbuttoning or unzipping them so they are already "roomy". It's nice to have some new clothes and something I didn't even realize I was doing was pointed out by Vic when she said "It's so nice to see you in something other than black!" I bought all spring colors and NO black ..:)
In tops I was able to get larges instead of XL or XXL ...I will be so happy to be able to shop in the petite section again. Being 5' tall and only able to shop in the large women section really limited me to what pants or skirts I could buy. Vic asked me the other day if I just didn't like dresses or skirts because I never wear them...I didn't really think about it much until I started writing about my clothes..Being short and so over weight has really limited me to what I could wear. It's so wonderful seeing a shape to my body (other than round lol).

I have been trying to get on youtube to do a video update but everytime I hit "upload" from youtube to start the video making my computer freezes and I have to just turn it off. Anyone else having this problem?

That's all for today...Enjoy your day whatever it is you choose to do with it. xoxo




Thursday, March 14, 2013

3/14/13 Third Fill?

I have another doctors appointment today. I'm unsure if he'll do another fill but I think that he probably will. I have a 10cc band and right now I only have 4cc's in the band. Each time I've come he's filled it 2cc's each time. I'm still losing each week. I started at 234 and my low has been 198, but this last week every day has been up and down...last night before bed it was 202 but I had a bad day of eating. I started out good with my protein shake but by 2pm I was starving so Vic and I went to Turtles Restaurant. I shared some nachos and had bang bang chicken ..very yummy..I wouldn't guess it was too bad compared to things I could have eaten. Then on the way home we stopped at Nokomis Groves and I got a large cup of pineapple and orange swirl soft serve ice cream. Delicious!
Once home we had Wendys. I had 10 chicken tenders..they were small but still 10 is way more than I should be able to eat if my band is working like it should. (I know I'm putting it on the band..I should know better and not eat that much in one setting!)

I'm just not stressing about my eating or my weight. I'm happy that the scale is continuing over all to move in the right direction. I still have a goal of 125 by October and I think it's something I can achieve.

When I tell people about my band I get different reactions. Someone told me that they couldn't give up soda so it would never work for them. I can honestly say I don't miss soda. I try a sip from time to time but the carbonation does not work for me at all. I thought I'd miss pizza but I can still manage one piece once in a while. The second piece is never agreeable with my band and it takes me longer to eat the first piece than in pre band days.  I can fill my sweet tooth with sugar free sweets so that's no big deal. I'm afraid to try steak again after my Ruby Tuesdays incident with the steak but I'm sure I could try a small bite and not have too much trouble..somethings are just not worth it for me. I miss a big juicy hamburger but I'm not willing to get stuck over a hamburger..I KNOW bread doesn't work for me.  There is really nothing that I crave that is worth putting the pounds back on. I am too happy with the smaller Holly that I see in the mirror. I know that the end result will be a healthier,  happier girl.

I'll post more after the appointment with the doctor..on my way there now.

OK just got back from the doctor. I had another fill..only 1cc this time making it a total of 5cc's. He thinks this will be it for the fills if I understood him correctly. yay!

I'm a little confused on things my doctor tells me. I swear before surgery he said I'd lose the majority of the weight the first year and then the second year I'd only have a little more to lose. Today he said I'd be on goal if I lost 60 lbs the first year (half of what I needed to lose) and that I'm doing great and already over the half way mark and I'm only 5 months out from when I had surgery. I still am planning on the total weight to be gone in one year so I hope I'm not setting myself up to fail on that one :(

I was at 200.2 lbs on the scale at the doctors office..I'm ok with that..it beats the 202 last night at home and today I was in a sweatshirt and pants so if I was naked I'd be under 200 again..:)

I talked to my doctor about the rashes I get on my under tummy. He told me to take pictures to document it because it would help with insurance covering my tummy tuck later..Don't worry I WILL NOT be posting any pictures of rashes! lol




Sunday, March 3, 2013

Loss

I'm sorry that I have not been keeping up with this blog or my videos. I am still losing weight , in fact just the other day I finally made it to onederland. :) 

I've been in TN the last few weeks at my dads side. Last Sunday (2/24/13) he lost his battle with lung cancer. It has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go thru. We found out a year ago about his cancer and have  tried to fit in many wonderful visits and memories. 

I just don't have a lot to say right now. I'm scheduled for another doctor visit the end of the month. I'm happy with my weight loss so far and think that I'm on track with where I should be. My goal is to get down to 125 and the date for that in my head is by my one year anniversary from surgery which will be in October. 

I've been trying to add a picture but something is not working right with blogger tonight and uploading. 

It's sad for me to blog right now. My dad used to look forward to my updates and would follow along on what I was doing and how much I was losing. He predicted I'd be at 199 sooner than I was. It was hard to blog this last year because at times I wanted to pour my heart out about my struggle with his cancer but since I knew he read my blogs I kept the posts about it pretty brief. Now that I can write whatever i want I just don't have the energy plus I don't want to open up those feelings yet because I'm afraid once the flood gates are open they won't shut. :( 

Anyway...until later..xoxo

Saturday, February 2, 2013

2/2/2013

Wow, I am way behind in my blogging. The last blog I posted was Jan 22 (Today is Feb. 2) I was 202 pounds, today I am 204. This is the first time I've posted a gain instead of a loss. I got down to 201 after coming back from TN but have been yo yoing to 202,203,204 for the last few weeks now. It's no mystery I know what I'm doing wrong (not enough water, not enough protein, not enough exercise, etc.) I do know the results lie within me and when I'm back on  track so will my numbers be.

I'm super excited that there is going to be a YouFit health club right down the street from us. They are just now breaking ground so it won't be for a few months but we are plannning on joining. They are super affordable and so close to the house!

This month Vic and I celebrate 4 years of living together! :) It feels like longer (in a good way). We've accomplished so much in four years. (grew a business,went on a cruise,watched my dad move to TN and then visited TN many times,countless trips to Busch Gardens, the theater,helped the homeless in Venice,added to our family,moved Victor out here to live in FL,lost friends to cancer,put on and took off weight, made it through another hip replacement (me) and soon to be knee replacement (Vic), got a new car,made some awesome friends,cheered on Obama twice, played in the surf on multiple Florida beaches,let  Spirit in and discovered a new inner peace that I never knew was possible) What an amazing life I have!


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

1/22/2013

I am back home from TN. and happy to say down another pound! I started in October at 234 and this morning I am at 202! It's taking me longer to reach 199 than I thought it would but I did my math this morning and to get to my over all goal by my one year anniversary I only need to lose 2 lbs a week...very doable! And not only doable but I will most likely meet my goal ahead of schedule!! Yay!!!

This latest loss could be water weight thou...in tears! :( What an emotional trip this was.
My sweet dad always worrying about everyone else, had his hospice nurse send me some books so when I got home last night they were in my mail box.."When a loved one is suffering a difficult death", Facing Cancer as a family, Grieving the loss of your parent, Losing your dad, and What's really normal when you're grieving" ...heck just the names of the books have me in tears! I have not opened them yet but do plan on having a look since he went to the trouble of having them sent to me.  I think I need one on how not to kill the family around me that isn't grieving in the way I think they should...maybe time for more therapy , eh? FOR ME

Anyway....I'm dragging butt today but trying to get in gear to make it back to work at a reasonable hour. The fur children didn't want to stop snuggling this morning...DJ was even sharing my pillow with me, what a sweetie!

Keep smiling and hug your loved ones today! xoxoxo

Checking out Facebook with my dad 

Friday, January 18, 2013

Visit with Dad Jan 2013

Fun times in TN. We got here last night to snow covered roads..it's beautiful!!! My dad has a big chair , i think it's called a chair and half, that we fit in nicely together!